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Shit, that was a close one.
Apr. 4th, 2025 12:34 amSooo... had to go to the hospital for an extended emergency room visit for the first time since I was like 2. What a fucking nightmare. Long story short, I had myocarditis, an inflammation of heart tissue. Luckily it resolved and I'm fine but that was a scary couple of days.
Basically, last week I came down with some stomach virus or something, and had a rough 2 days of that, then woke up Saturday morning with severe stomach pain radiating up into my chest. It kind of resembled gastritis flareups I've had before but much, much worse. It got to the point that I realized it wasnt normal stomach probs, and chest pain is always supposed to be taken super seriously. So we went to Brookhaven hospital and got admitted to the ER and I was stuck there forever. None of the tests showed signs of heart attack or anything, but there was some enzyme in my blood that was ludicrously high, which is usually associated with major heart problems, heart failure, aortic trauma, etc...
I got a CT scan, which ruled out some stuff, then got an echocardiogram on my heart, and thats where they found the inflammation. So they decided they wanted to send me to Mineola for better imaging. They did more tests there and ruled out anything major/life-threatening, and the inflammation had already subsided by then.
So I was in the hospital for like 3 days total, and lost the whole weekend. It sucked. I was already stressed out about the whole situation, but the one doctor who said he wanted me transported to Mineola did all these long, drawn out pauses, and looked like he was trying to find the right words to explain things, which made me really nervous because it made me sound like he was dancing around the subject of like "Oh you might die here lol". Fortunately that wasn't the case.
Honestly, I didn't feel physically that bad after the first few hours. But as someone who deals with on-and-off thanatophobia, this was like my worst nightmare. I've made a bit of progress on not being overly preoccupied by the fear of death, and it tends to ebb and flow depending on what's going on in life. But this was probably the realest it's ever been. Like, when I was alone on Sunday, waiting for the ambulance transport, with no update on my condition or anything, I legit was making plans in my head on how to make sure Dracanea gets finished someday. It was fucked. Someone was supposed to come visit me in the middle of the day to give me some updates, but they never did .It was really fucked.
Since getting home from the hospital I've been mostly fine, but still dealing with abdominal pains since I probably have gastritis again. That, and I've been really tired all day everyday. I guess if my heart was struggling, it'll need some time to heal up.
I guess I'll probably write more introspectively about this another time. I've been trying to write this post for like 4 days now, but every night I've tried to, I was too tired to finish. Speaking of, I'm actually really tired haha. But long story short, I'm super grateful to my body for working hard to fix itself, and I'm grateful to God since I did pray for help getting through it. Like... I'm not necessarily someone who believes in modern-day miracles, but it IS a little strange that I went from "Your heart is inflamed with prominent striations in the bottom here that suggests a birth defect or heart attack" to just a day later "Yeah all the inflammation is gone." Makes you wonderrr...!
Basically, last week I came down with some stomach virus or something, and had a rough 2 days of that, then woke up Saturday morning with severe stomach pain radiating up into my chest. It kind of resembled gastritis flareups I've had before but much, much worse. It got to the point that I realized it wasnt normal stomach probs, and chest pain is always supposed to be taken super seriously. So we went to Brookhaven hospital and got admitted to the ER and I was stuck there forever. None of the tests showed signs of heart attack or anything, but there was some enzyme in my blood that was ludicrously high, which is usually associated with major heart problems, heart failure, aortic trauma, etc...
I got a CT scan, which ruled out some stuff, then got an echocardiogram on my heart, and thats where they found the inflammation. So they decided they wanted to send me to Mineola for better imaging. They did more tests there and ruled out anything major/life-threatening, and the inflammation had already subsided by then.
So I was in the hospital for like 3 days total, and lost the whole weekend. It sucked. I was already stressed out about the whole situation, but the one doctor who said he wanted me transported to Mineola did all these long, drawn out pauses, and looked like he was trying to find the right words to explain things, which made me really nervous because it made me sound like he was dancing around the subject of like "Oh you might die here lol". Fortunately that wasn't the case.
Honestly, I didn't feel physically that bad after the first few hours. But as someone who deals with on-and-off thanatophobia, this was like my worst nightmare. I've made a bit of progress on not being overly preoccupied by the fear of death, and it tends to ebb and flow depending on what's going on in life. But this was probably the realest it's ever been. Like, when I was alone on Sunday, waiting for the ambulance transport, with no update on my condition or anything, I legit was making plans in my head on how to make sure Dracanea gets finished someday. It was fucked. Someone was supposed to come visit me in the middle of the day to give me some updates, but they never did .It was really fucked.
Since getting home from the hospital I've been mostly fine, but still dealing with abdominal pains since I probably have gastritis again. That, and I've been really tired all day everyday. I guess if my heart was struggling, it'll need some time to heal up.
I guess I'll probably write more introspectively about this another time. I've been trying to write this post for like 4 days now, but every night I've tried to, I was too tired to finish. Speaking of, I'm actually really tired haha. But long story short, I'm super grateful to my body for working hard to fix itself, and I'm grateful to God since I did pray for help getting through it. Like... I'm not necessarily someone who believes in modern-day miracles, but it IS a little strange that I went from "Your heart is inflamed with prominent striations in the bottom here that suggests a birth defect or heart attack" to just a day later "Yeah all the inflammation is gone." Makes you wonderrr...!
